Thursday, December 22, 2005

of choirs and servers

It's weird, u noe, being home. Tonight is the first night that I actually stayed up this week to do something fun. This past one week I have been working like mad, u noe, what's with Christmas coming and all. I wake up, then I'll start helpin my mum n aunt to bake cookies n cakes, n babysit, n cook n clean.. well.. u noe, all the activities not unlike those of Bree Van de Kamp. My work only stops at about 8pm.. after that mandi, and I'll hit the sack. But I have to admit, the monotonous lifestyle, the lack of fun activities, I'm solely to be blamed. You see, for these past few weeks, my old friends here from church have been calling/sms-ing/talking to my mum/pukul-ling me .. just to get me to join tis year's carolling, which I have never missed since I joined the church choir back in 1999, well, until this year anyway. And I've been dodging every single invitation and stuff.. giving lame excuses like "no friends".. which was initially quite the case.. "no time".. which became very true lately. Heheh.

Anyway, they were at my house just now, and they sang oh-so beautifully. My choice of songs were all old-school.. u noe.. those requiring one to really stretch one's vocal cords.. O Holy Night.. O Come All Ye Faithful and Hark The Herald Angels Sing. As we sang there, this big group of people, young and old, singing together.. well, memories just came flooding back. I see my friends' faces.. Adam, Alex, Anthony, John, Lehrman, Angie, Charles and Daniel.. and realised my loss because I didnt join them this year. I mean, after we all left Form 5 and pursue our own dreams, Christmas is the only time that we have to spend with each other. And I can see the error in my ways, in the way I, see things. These friends of mine may not have shared the ups and downs of my life, but they're equally as important as other friends, because they are the people that I grow up with here in Bintulu. They are the people that I went to Sunday School n guitar lessons with, went to mass with.. u noe.. Back then we were typical Catholic boys and girls.. the boys join the Guild of Saint Stephen and become altar servers.. while the girls join the choir.. for some unknown reason, the typical couple combination was altarboy-choirgirl. But anyway, it's cool now that eventhough those relationships didnt last, we could stay as good friends to this day. I'm happy to tell you that through that ex of mine from long ago (yes, he was an altar server), I've gotten to know more people, and his friends practically became mine. Sigh.. everything is so simple and peaceful back here in Bintulu.

Actually, maybe I havent been joining the choir this time around because I cant 'let go' of my CSS' own carolling. Noewatimean? I've been brooding about d fact that I havent been able to join my CSS friends there carolling and partying, that I havent much space left in my brain to think abt anything else. But I just realised that maybe joining the choir again can alleviate this moodiness of mine. Like I said, it feels good just now when we were singing, everything was so familiar. I'm reminded of my days singing with the red file full of music scores in my hand, of my days singing responsorial psalms, and conducting, of our days performing in front of our bishop. Yup, my friends here are musically inclined like me as well, so it's fun. Hihi.

Actually, having said all that, I still dun understand what made me write this post about choir and carolling in the first place. It IS 4.50am, I havent been sleeping and I spent the last few hrs or so chatting with Daniel, who often drives me into fits of laughter. Pokoknya, I'm not really thinking straight. Shall. Try. To. Sleep. END