Tuesday, June 20, 2006
I'd be lying if I say I'm just a little bit upset. In fact, I'm more than just a little bit upset. I'm raging mad!
I DO NOT have the need to go for additional English classes, not now, not ever. Call me arrogant, but if there's one thing that I take pride in, it's my English. I worked my ass off for the English Department back in school for goodness' sake. From the day I entered, till the day I left. I won essay competitions, I was in choral speaking, I was in debate, I made it to the state level public speaking, twice! Two freaking consecutive years. I made a reputation for myself for my involvement in those activities. Now you're telling me MY NAME is on the list for this semester's English class?! Give me a break. I didnt memorise the Shakespeare's sonnets and plays for nothing. I didnt attend Singapore English and 1119 classes every week for as long as I can remember for nothing. Only 2 people got A1 in 1119 in my year in SMK Bintulu, and I was one of them. Now you're telling me I have to attend English and expect me to feel nothing?!
Yes, my ego is wounded. But more than that, my self-confidence. I know I'm not one of those super smart people, but at least I have my love for this language to make myself feel somewhat good. I've worked very hard to get myself here, to this level, and receiving this news first thing in the morning, is mind blowing. Not the good kind of mind blowing. The-I-wanna-bite-whoever's-next-to-me-out-of-sheer-frustration kind of mind blowing. I cant possibly score that bad in the placement test right? I mean, I totally didnt see this coming. Yes, I'm thinking of the possibilities that they might have made a mistake. How can one simply just un-learn English? I mean, I know I'm not all that great. My grammar can be quite atrocius, but I didnt think that it's THAT bad.
Can someone come and comfort me? It's been a really bad start. I was just getting over the fact I'll be separated from my lab partners of 3 semesters (whom I'm quite fond of, and we do get along quite famously, a fact that a lot of people knows), due to some additional students - the repeating seniors. That was last week. I had lots of people coming up to me and say "Oh, Daphne. It's too bad that you're still stuck in Group A, separated from the 3 of them. Bet you'll be lonely." Now, it's starting all over again. Bad News of Week 2, Semester 4. I already had a few "Daphne, I saw the list. I'm sorry about it" and "Daphne, how can it be?!" when I came into the lecture theatre this morning, and I wasnt even seated yet.
Everything works out for the best, you say? Uh-huh, ya-huh. Whatever you say.. Argghh!! I'm so done for!