Monday, September 17, 2007

I heard the news about the tragic plane crash in Phuket. 88 died. I didn’t flinch. No sympathy, no "Lord Jesus, have mercy" said under my breath.
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Then I stopped mid mouse-clicking, froze in my tracks. For a most dreadful thought, occurred to me, have I lost my empathy along the way?
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One reason I used to avoid reading newspapers when I was younger was because I hated finding out about how ugly things can get. Rapes always, always get to me. So does seemingly senseless deaths. I’d feel a lump in my throat and get misty eyed about them. I’m a crybaby that way. Or sensitive, if you like.
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Now, there’s just a lot going on in my life, I feel. That or I've been too sated with material comfort. Too much about myself until I have been forgetting to stop and count my blessings. Being alone, away from family and close friends does that to you sometimes. Like today, I was shopping and this store lady barked me down. I was so.. tak puas hati. Then later in the evening, I felt like my efforts were unappreciated by a friend. I was tak puas hati and sedih also. I forgot. I forgot that I might think that I had it bad today, but in actual fact, there are also many things that I should be grateful for. Or many more issues out there that are more worthy to consume my thoughts. You know, to think of other people once in a while. Think of the marginalised; the many homeless, cold and hungry among us. So, I stopped ranting about the “unfair treatment” I got today,or the fact that I shockingly failed my clinical practice exam but focused instead on the prayer by St Francis of Assisi.
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“Grant that I may never seek so much to be consoled as to console. To be understood, as to understand. To be loved, as to love with all my soul.”
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Excessive media can be damaging. You get so used to the bad stuff, that you dont feel anything.

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