I did my first vaginal cream counselling today with a 49 yo Iban patient. I went inside the counselling room with light footsteps. This should be easy, I thought, the cream and applicator is nifty and very user friendly. But as we sat down, and as I started to try to explain I realised that Oh. My. Word. Doing it in Iban was hard because every word seemed vulgar. I had to resort to lubang keluar anak and utai. Because I sure as heck can't say the P word. . . But I managed to explain it (well) and explained the indication for the Premarin cream (ngambi enda rangkai - rangkai itself sounded vulgar, and it also rhymes with bangkai), and she understood. All was well, until towards the end, she asked me, and I shall translate it for you's, . . "Boleh main-main ka... dengan itu?" . . I choked. My mind was like, "What do you mean, for lubricant? Part of foreplay? Sex toy?!", as she continued to look at me expectantly, waiting for a reply. I mean, she did say main-main. . . Then, click. It became clear what she was really asking about. She was simply asking, whether she still can have intimate relations with her husband while on the cream. Because she sure as heck can't say the Iban B word. That's like saying the F word which is totally inappropriate in that setting. . . As I replied her, it was very hard to keep a straight face, as did she. . . And surely, there are better terms for all these things in Iban? But by Jove, saying main-main to mean sex is one of the funniest thing I've ever heard.