Wednesday, January 07, 2009

Intimate Matter

I did my first vaginal cream counselling today with a 49 yo Iban patient. I went inside the counselling room with light footsteps. This should be easy, I thought, the cream and applicator is nifty and very user friendly. But as we sat down, and as I started to try to explain I realised that Oh. My. Word. Doing it in Iban was hard because every word seemed vulgar. I had to resort to lubang keluar anak and utai. Because I sure as heck can't say the P word.
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But I managed to explain it (well) and explained the indication for the Premarin cream (ngambi enda rangkai - rangkai itself sounded vulgar, and it also rhymes with bangkai), and she understood. All was well, until towards the end, she asked me, and I shall translate it for you's,
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"Boleh main-main ka... dengan itu?"
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I choked. My mind was like, "What do you mean, for lubricant? Part of foreplay? Sex toy?!", as she continued to look at me expectantly, waiting for a reply. I mean, she did say main-main.
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Then, click. It became clear what she was really asking about. She was simply asking, whether she still can have intimate relations with her husband while on the cream. Because she sure as heck can't say the Iban B word. That's like saying the F word which is totally inappropriate in that setting.
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As I replied her, it was very hard to keep a straight face, as did she.
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And surely, there are better terms for all these things in Iban? But by Jove, saying main-main to mean sex is one of the funniest thing I've ever heard.

6 comments:

BukBuban said...

Apu anak, kasih meh nuan neh, enda nemu nerang ngena jaku Iban. "Utai" kitai does sound better ari "lubang keluar anak". Pahai kitai. I know its taboo nyebut P, tang nuan enda tau enda meda pemereti patient enggau utai ke disebut nuan enggau belalai. Enti enda alah seliah, anang enda nyebut enda alah tak di unsutka ba sebarang lubang...

Pasal B, nuan tau ngena "begulai enggau laki", nemu kitai Iban deh, semadi urang nya lu, baru iya enda nemu reti.

Katun amat jerita nuan, nyu engkakah tua dadi macha.

Anonymous said...

NFP teachers may be able to help you out here.

Stella said...

Sometimes it is hard to keep a straight face.. :)
but then again, sometimes mentioning the F word is just part of your job...

Entayang said...

Enti aku sigi alu enda tepansut leka jako..ukai senang ka nerang serta dalam jako iban..sigi tesasul

Puteri said...

Haha, no better scientific sounding words for such terms in Iban? Enda patut, eh, jako Melayu ngemayoh nya ga, better for the sensibilities!

-f-l-o- said...

LOL. You'll be fine.