The Great Sad Book

I've been eyeing Cormac McCarthy's The Road for sometime now, but I never dared to pick it up, until Saturday. The book is said to be rather bleak, and the last thing I need is a depressing book. But I thought since I was home for a few days, surrounded by familiarity and comfort, why not.
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It was very hard reading it till the end, that much I can tell you. But surprisingly I wanted to keep on reading it, and now 24 hours later, I'm done.
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And I cried, and then I laughed, why am I crying over a book, it's not even real, and then I cried again, because it felt so real. I don't think I'm going to re-read it any time soon, but it's really good and intense. Just don't be alone. I hear they're making a movie out of it - I hope it'll be as great.
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Going back again to work again on Tuesday. I'll be in satellite this month. Will be bringing the sibs along with me, since I'll be alone what's with everyone being on leave for CNY. Good to be home as usual, my sister and I been making earrings. It really is fun once you get the hang of (looping beads together, moulding and snapping wires) it. I modeled a new dress yesterday, the colour of midnight blue, for dad. He asked me, "Nangka nya ajak iya?" - is that as far as it goes?, and touches his knees (it was a bit too short). I laughed and said yes, but I can always wear leggings. "What about here, is that all?", he asked again, this time, arms crossed and touching his shoulders. Yes, that's it, but of course I'll be wearing something over it.
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Something a lot like relief crossed his face. He says/asks the funniest thing, I think.

Raining (cats and) Dogs

Rain brought a dog to my door. I was walking down the stairs after a shower, when Miss S told me we have a special guest. She opened the door and as if on cue, a dog looked at me and wagged. As if it's saying hi. With big black eyes, wet beautiful brown fur and a waggy waggy tail, I didn't stand a chance. As it is, it's sleeping in the porch. I just spent the last half an hour watching through the window as it sleeps. I put an old rag over it but this dog, apparently, do not understand the ideas of blanket and the importance of keeping warm, so it moved about shaking the piece of cloth off.
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Poor doggy. I don't have any dog-edible food. It must be hungry.
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But it's so beautiful I want to keep it.

Sunday Afternoon

Sunday, wins hands-down as the best day for overanalysing matters, which explains the subsequent emo-ness and melancholy. Precipitated by the fact that I'm manifesting withdrawal symptoms.. of the sudden lack of company once mom and dad (but mostly dad) vroomed vroomed their way back to home. Which is 2 hours away, or 3.5hours if thou doth travel by bus.
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I am suddenly alone with too much time on my hands. Being alone is not depressing per se, but I do tend to dwell on things that I cannot change. God give me the serenity. Or things that I lack courage to change. So I end up... like this. Like now. Melancholic.
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We are a pair of idiots. Nay. There's you, and there's me; there is no pair. Like I said, idiots.
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Burn studying, the housemates and I are going merayau tonight. A new item has been mysteriously added to my wish list, and it has nothing to do with the fact that 2 of my housemates have these new, very pretty storage boxes which I imagine, will look very pretty at the foot of my bed.

Melah pinang

This much I know is true:
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1. I got bored at the wedding (gasp!)
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2. I went mostly because it was held at the Eastwood Valley Country Club.
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3. And because it's good to make more Miri acquaintances and know who's who.
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4. But I really did love the lightings and everything. The place is gorgeous.
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5. (So I camwhored) You haven't seen a picture of me in a long time.
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6. And I want Shayne Ward's Breathless at my wedding reception.
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But please don't hold your breath. :)

Intimate Matter

I did my first vaginal cream counselling today with a 49 yo Iban patient. I went inside the counselling room with light footsteps. This should be easy, I thought, the cream and applicator is nifty and very user friendly. But as we sat down, and as I started to try to explain I realised that Oh. My. Word. Doing it in Iban was hard because every word seemed vulgar. I had to resort to lubang keluar anak and utai. Because I sure as heck can't say the P word.
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But I managed to explain it (well) and explained the indication for the Premarin cream (ngambi enda rangkai - rangkai itself sounded vulgar, and it also rhymes with bangkai), and she understood. All was well, until towards the end, she asked me, and I shall translate it for you's,
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"Boleh main-main ka... dengan itu?"
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I choked. My mind was like, "What do you mean, for lubricant? Part of foreplay? Sex toy?!", as she continued to look at me expectantly, waiting for a reply. I mean, she did say main-main.
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Then, click. It became clear what she was really asking about. She was simply asking, whether she still can have intimate relations with her husband while on the cream. Because she sure as heck can't say the Iban B word. That's like saying the F word which is totally inappropriate in that setting.
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As I replied her, it was very hard to keep a straight face, as did she.
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And surely, there are better terms for all these things in Iban? But by Jove, saying main-main to mean sex is one of the funniest thing I've ever heard.

Joie de vivre

I met the sweetest old man today. At 74, he's rather ancient (to me), but he's one of those who age well. When I called his number, he came up to me, noticed my cross pendant and asked me whether I was a Christian. I said "Yes, I am" and he exclaimed, "Praise the Lord!" Our ensuing conversation was very pleasant; sprinkled throughout with a lot of God, and it ended with a very soothing "The Lord be with you" from Nice Old Uncle.
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I was in Cloud 9.
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There was definitely something different about today, the way I found something to be happy about in every moment, and it started even before Nice Old Uncle. At 9am, when there was a brief lull in the number of patients coming in, I thank God for the quietness. At 1pm when my back was aching and the patient load was still heavy, I thank God for the fact that the stomach is still okay and not begging for lunch. At 5.40pm, I thank God, of course, for the simple fact that I was finally making my way home. Today, I also caught myself thinking, I love life. I've never thought that before. Today I was happy just to be, all problems just pushed to the peripheries, til there's just me and the present moment. Verily I say unto thee, a very novel thought.
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It has been a very rainy (dawn) day (night) in Miri, but in my heart, I felt only sunshine. Days like these come far and few in between, in fact, today is a first in many months. For today, and for my life that you've given, from the bottom of my heart, I thank you.

High

I'm still alone at house. Note that I said house because I find it hard calling this house home. Not yet, but I'll get there. I'm starting to feel? to be? quite fond of Miri. The housemates are not back yet, airport pickup later at about 9pm. I would have to hunt down my January punch card later tonight, much like a school kid would hunt around for his or her missing name tag before school reopens. Because work resumes tomorrow.
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Thanks, guys, for the lovely Christmas break, both to yang terlibat secara langsung, mahupun yang tidak langsung. The former would be the family members whom I actually spent Christmas with, the latter would be the friends back for Christmas that I met/saw. I would also like to thank the makers of PS2 for continuing to keep my siblings and I entertained, and the developers of Spartan: Total Warrior. Please, anyone out there, do not hesitate to contribute to the Daphne Needs an Xbox 360 Fund. Or you can buy any other newer toys, I don't mind, but please not a Wii, because the last thing I want to do in the evenings is move about shaking the analog.
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Dang, I'm still on a holiday high.
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New Year Eve's was an explosion of memories and subsequent utmost gratitude to God. My heart did funny things when my Past and Present collided, it was like waking up to a strange new reality where the two coexist, and are no longer compartmentalized. I don't know how to explain the feeling, but it's much like suddenly finding a connexion between two seemingly unrelated books, or a sense of continuity. Whatever it is, I'm relieved the two's finally merged. I love it that you might not understand what I'm saying. Because this is a heart on my sleeve paragraph.
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Wica and I left the impressions of our arses on the Hilux because being monkeys we climbed to the top of the car for a better view of the fireworks. Didn't know that it's vulnerable and all soft metal up there. It was exhilarating, I spent the ride home sitting at the back of the Hilux. The traffic lights stops were odd moments though, had to look everywhere but the cars lined up behind.
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All in all a good end to 2008, and a fun beginning to the new year.
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Stocked on fun books and movies. I have fresh flowers in the bathroom. I have salmon and pollock in the fridge, cheese and dark seed bread, all the things that keep me happy happy happy. I'm ready for Month 3 of provisional year.